I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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