Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will pee on everything he values.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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