My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
