Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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