Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
