Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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