I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize