I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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