It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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