Have you finally orgasmed yet?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
