So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
