every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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