I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Can I color on your dick again?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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