I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
