Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
