After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
