No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
