Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Magikal hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.

Fav 12 6588 969
share tweet
(914): View more from New York

i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same

Fav 39 1362 5822
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

Fav 24 1758 8625
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?

Fav 9 4697 1483
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

Fav 3 3454 1281
share tweet
(786): View more from Florida

If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

Fav 14 5792 1623
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

Fav 12 7476 1483
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

Fav 1 1209 574
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.

Fav 0 79 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT