this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
