The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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