wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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