I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
