i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
