Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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