At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
