if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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