Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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