I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
