I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
