He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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