If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
