I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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