So drunk its hurt
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
