i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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