Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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