the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We are all done wearing pants today
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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