Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
