and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize