Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
