new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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