You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
