Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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