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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
