also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My cat gives me a boner
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
