he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Come see our sink grown plant.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
