Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
