The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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