So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
