def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
