guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
