I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
