whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
