That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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