Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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