We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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