I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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