suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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