I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
When did angry sex become our thing?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
